Death to Powerpoint!

There is one thing that has always baffled me about academia, and theoretical physics in particular. Here we have a community of people whose work — indeed, whose very careers — depend on their ability to communicate complex ideas to each other and to the broader public in order to secure funding for their projects. To be an effective working physicist, you basically have to do three things: publish papers, go to conferences, and give presentations. LOTS of presentations. In principle, this should be easy; we are usually talking to a receptive audience of our peers or educated outsiders, we presumably know the subject matter backwards and many of us have had years of experience giving public talks. So can someone please tell me why the heck so many physicists are still so bad at it?

Now before you start trying to guess if I am ranting about anyone in particular, let me set your mind at ease — I am talking about everybody, probably including you, and certainly including myself (well, up to a point). I except only those few speakers in physics who really know how to engage their audience and deliver an effective presentation (if you know any examples, please post names or links in the comments, I want to catalog these guys like rare insects). But instead of complaining about it, I am going to try and perpetuate a solution. There is an enemy in our midst: slide shows. We are crippling our communication skills by our unspoken subservience to the idea that a presentation that doesn’t contain at least 15 slides with graphs and equations does not qualify as legitimate science.

The Far Side

Let me set the record straight: the point of a presentation is not to convince people that you are a big important scientist who knows what he is doing. We already know that, and if you are in fact just an imposter, probably we already know that too. Away with pretenses, with insecurities that force you to obfusticate the truth. The truth is: you are stupid, but you are trying your best to do science. Your audience is also stupid, but they are trying their best to understand you. We are a bunch of dumb, ignorant smelly humans groping desperately for a single grain of the truth, and we will never get that truth so long as we dress ourselves up like geniuses who know it all. Let’s just be open about it. Those people in your talk, who look so sharp and attentive and nod their heads sagely when you speak, but ask no questions — you can be sure they have no damn clue what is going on. And you, the speaker, are not there to toot your trumpet or parade up and down showing everyone how magnanimously you performed real calculations or did real experiments with things of importance — you are there to communicate ideas, and nothing else. Humble yourself before your audience, invite them to eviscerate you (figuratively), put everything at stake for the truth and they will joint you instead of attacking you. They might then be willing to ask you the REAL questions — instead of those pretend questions we all know are designed to show everyone else how smart they are because they already know the answer to them*

*(I am guilty of this, but I balance it out by asking an equal number of really dumb questions).

I don’t want questions from people who have understood my talk perfectly and are merely demonstrating this fact to everyone else in the room: I want dumb questions, obvious questions, offensive questions, real questions that strike at the root of what is going on. Life is too short to beat around the bush, let’s just cut to the chase and do some damn physics! You don’t know what that symbol means? Ask me! If I’m wrong I’m wrong, if your question is dumb, it’s dumb, but I’ll answer it anyway and we can move on like adults.

Today I trialed a new experiment of mine: I call it the “One Slide Wonder”. I gave a one hour presentation based on one slide. I think it was a partial success, but needs refinement. For anyone who wants to get on board with this idea, the rules are as follows:

1. Thou shalt make thine presentation with only a single slide.

2. The slide shalt contain things that stimulate discussions and invite questions, or serve as handy references, but NOT detailed proofs or lengthy explanations. These will come from your mouth and chalk-hand.

3. The time spent talking about the slide shalt not exceed the time that could reasonably be allotted to a single slide, certainly not more than 10-15 minutes.

4. After this time, thou shalt invite questions, and the discussion subsists thereupon for the duration of the session or until such a time as it wraps up in a natural way.

To some people, this might seem terrifying: what if nobody has any questions? What if I present my one slide, everyone coughs in awkward silence, and I have still 45 minutes to fill? Do I have to dance a jig or sing aloud for them? It is just like my childhood nightmares! To those who fear this scenario, I say: be brave. You know why talks always run overtime? Because the audience is bursting with questions and they keep interrupting the speaker to clarify things. This is usually treated like a nuisance and the audience is told to “continue the discussion in question time”, except there isn’t any question time because there were too many fucking slides.

So let’s give them what they want: a single slide that we can all discuss to our heart’s content. You bet it can take an hour. Use your power as the speaker to guide the topic of discussion to what you want to talk about. Use the blackboard. Get covered in chalk, give the chalk to the audience, get interactive, encourage excitement — above all, destroy the facade of endless slides and break through to the human beings who are sitting there trying to talk back to you. If you want to be sure to incite discussion, just write some deliberately provocative statement on your slide and then stand there and wait. No living physicist can resist the combined fear of an awkward silence, coupled to the desire to challenge your claim that the many-worlds interpretation can be tested. And finally, in the absolute worst case scenario, nobody has any questions after your one slide and then you just say “Thank you” and take a seat, and you will go down in history as having given the most concise talk ever.PhD Comics

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